Chinese New Year. Yecch. The only thing I’m interested in is the ang pows. This year, I got some entertainment, thanks to Miss Bimbo, a cousin’s girlfriend. Ang pows were distributed after dinner, and Miss Bimbo had no clue what was happening, until Jules and I huddled in a corner and opened up our packets, counting our ‘yield’ for the night. Naturally, she looked at us in complete and utter shock.

And then, an aunt goes up to Miss Bimbo, wishes her a Happy New Year and rattles off all that stuff about prosperity and happiness, and gives her an ang pow too.

Of course when Jules and I saw how much she got, we snorted. It could be described as the lowest you can get according to the ‘prearranged family ang pow price list’. Basically, what you get from an aunt or uncle, thrice removed or something of that sort. Distant family, possibly the kind you’re only related to by about five different marriages, brothers, sisters, cousins, husbands or wives.

The coup de grace?

MissBimbo: Oooh, I LIKE this holiday!!
Me: Really? You should get married then.
Jules: *snickers*
MissBimbo: Oh, ok!! Honeeeeey, can we get married?
Rog: OMGWTF?!

Aunt Ju, of course, pulled the worst greetings of the evening when she distributed her ang pows.

AuntJu: [Insert Hokkien at light speed]
Me: Uh, thanks. Did you say… find… good… life?*
Jules: Husband lah, bodoh!!
Me: OMGWTF?!
Jules: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
AuntJu: And you!! [More Hokkien]
Jules: Oh crap…
Me: She said find a good girlfriend AHAHAHAHAHAH!!

*Disclaimer: Yes, I know Hokkien. I understand it well. But I don’t speak it anymore, because it was the language I used to communicate with Grandmama. My thought processes when interpreting Hokkien spoken by others is also much slower compared to when I speak it with Grandmama.

As time goes by, you realise, some of the things that happened before don’t matter anymore. The places, the events, the people… they don’t figure as much with the passage of time. All that mattered was the support, the friendship, and most of all the love that surrounded during the crisis.

I’ve always believed 2003 was the worst year of my life. Counting the stresses from completing an undergraduate thesis, I was unsure of my future, unsure of the new people I had come to call friends, and unsure of myself. Needless to say we all know when the shit hit the fan, and it won’t be revisited again.

That incident was pushed aside. I didn’t want to think about it, let alone deal with it. Perhaps this was my way of dealing. Whatever it was, I eventually got over it and focussed on doing my best in everything else.

If I thought 2003 was bad, I had not prepared myself for what was to come. For too long I had been coccooned by the security blanket of unending support. Through a trial of fire, I had learned to trust the people who are my friends. And it is that very trial that I had forgotten. I began to believe that people were generally kind and sincere. That was a big mistake. I needed to remember what made a bond of friendship. Most of all, I needed a healthy dose of basic human predatory behaviour.

Whatever has passed, has passed. I do not begrudge those involved anymore, and I hope they don’t begrudge me. They say life has a way of bringing what has been buried to the fore at the strangest times of your life. This may be the time for me to finally put things at rest.

Less than one day. Less than one day. How pathetic am I?

See, this is what my desktop always looks like:

I thought perhaps, it was time for a change, so I switched the background to this:

I adore Ten. And Nine. The point is, I went for something different than usual.

FAIL. Less than a day and I’ve reverted back to my original desktop. Not even David Tennant can tempt me. Jury’s still out on whether it’s a good or bad thing.