It’s amazing what sort of news the people you used to go to school with make these days.

Marie had informed me of this as I didn’t have the time (until now) to keep up with Malaysian news and politics – a former schoolmate of ours (a direct senior for me, 2 years senior for Marie) had been arrested by the cops for… something or other. It’s all very vague in which I am sure I will be hearing the nitty gritty from T-Boy sometime or other.

Considering I walked around in a bit of a teenaged angsty phase at school, I had to scratch my head to remember who this fellow was. Then I remembered Marie had said hi to him a couple of years ago when we were out shopping.

After reading up on what’s apparently going on, I thought – this guy, a Harvard University graduate, decided not to go, “Screw Malaysia, I’m going to stay in the US, make the big bucks and live the good life,” but instead, returned to Malaysia feeling he could make a difference. As opposed to 99% of the others who said goodbye to Malaysia and hello to big bucks.

And then he gets thrown in the can. Nice one, oh motherland of mine.

“He should smack him with the ISA.”
“Pak Lah lembik lah.”
“Yeah, he’s like, Mr Nice Guy.”
“Eh, bodohs, Tun M got immunity.”

Apparently, with a Tun-ship, you’re basically immune from getting thrown into jail and from being charged under the Internal Security Act, plus a whole lot of others. Kind of like diplomatic immunity.

Really? I say, how much are one of these Tun-ships and where can I get them? RM$30K for a Datuk-ship, Tun-ship’s maybe twice or thrice that amount. Of course, when obtaining such titles, it’s got to be with style – for instance, who the hell wants to be granted a title by a Tottenham Hotspur fan?

Ah, Malaysia. Where everything is a circus.

Malaysia Public Services Department’s Cyber-Counselling programme.

What. The. Fuck.

Wtf does To assist our clients to think, feel, and behaviour(sic) in a collective manner according to situations mean? Collective manner? I’m getting a whole lot of conform-to-the-rule vibes there.

And don’t get me started on the rest of their objectives and benefits. To reduce timidity and shyness of our clients?! HAHAHAHAHA. I hope they’ve conducted a feasability study before embarking on this programme, and have accumulated enough feedback and conducted evaluations on its effectiveness. If you’re gonna do something, do it right, yes? Considering nothing beats speaking to a client face-to-face.

I suppose that is something to be said about the state of counselling within an Asian culture, especially one that places a stigma on individuals who seek psychological or psychiatric services. In fact, I doubt there are many internal or even external Employee Assistance Programmes attached to Malaysian organizations.

Nina has mentioned this, but this just deserves a little more mention because it highlights Malaysia as Truly WTF. At this rate it should be Malaysia Truly Gila.

Draping all the OIC member countries’ flags around a pyramid (not to mention already hitting a snag)? Look, I know Pak Lah said we’re to raise Malaysia’s world profile, but this does not include a project-expedition that looks like it came straight out of Mahathir’s Excellent Adventure.

Clearly, conquering Mount Everest wasn’t enough. With this penis-mentality our countrymen seem to have, I could get rich off these buggers as a psychologist.

The Immigration Department of Malaysia seriously need to rethink their FAQ. I’m looking for constructive answers to my questions, like How To Harass My Local Embassy, or How Long Will It Take To Renew My Passport. I’m certainly not looking for constructive answers to doozies like this:

I had an argument with my wife and she tore my MRP. What should I do to replace that passport? How long will it take to get a new one?

If it wasn’t so hilarious I’d shake my head in despair.