Trying to keep resolutions

Posted on March 6, 2010 at 10:33 pm in

“Here are my fees, Ms Rosita. It’s for Saturday classes only. I’m not doing the Monday classes for a couple of months.”
“What?! Why?! Is it because of…”
“No, please be assured it’s not.”

The hardest thing I did was to bring Ms Rosita into confidence. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her, I think I didn’t trust myself to open up to her, but end result was some great insight and advice. This in turn has allowed me to mellow out and stop partaking in what I now privately refer to as Clusterf@#k to the Dance Company. Plus, I’m going home in two and a half weeks, and I don’t want to be neither here nor there with classes and fees, so I weighed up my choices and this was the best one. I’ll still be paying for three Saturday classes that I won’t be attending, but Ms Rosita is the kind of teacher who would insist on a private lesson to make up for it. Right now, I’d much rather work on syllabus than open repertoire.

Although I think I disappointed Ms Rosita further when I said I had no intention of partaking in the upcoming workshops by a visiting professional. My reasons, once again, can always be financial, but I know deep down there might be a 20 per cent in there that I don’t want to do it because of abovementioned Clusterf@#k.

Whatever it is, I do feel quite satisfied with my decisions at the moment. I have vacation time to look forward to and free time to myself.

Is it March already?

Posted on March 3, 2010 at 10:06 pm in

I had promised myself to write a little more often. At least try to chronicle some of what has been happening, considering I’ve stopped keeping a written journal for many, many years. The idea to restart is tempting, but I know with my penchant for laziness when it comes to writing, it would end as soon as I began.

Have things improved? I don’t know. On some fronts, I have gotten clarity. On others, still murky, still painful as ever. The latter relates to family. I don’t know what else to do now. The result of all this animosity is causing further friction with others, and they are not blind to the reason why we are sniping at each other. The situation is toxic. I have heard the same advice from friends and my psychologist (HA, PHYSICIAN, HEAL THYSELF). I don’t have the means to act on their advice. If I did, I’d have been out of here within days. Maybe I should start buying lottery tickets. Just saying.

Clarity – learning that some people are just not worth the time or effort. I know I am a dark, difficult character to deal with. Don’t I know it. Do I want to be? Not all the time. I try to be happy. But I think it also takes two to be toxic. I did my best to be mature and confronted the situation, albeit deep down knowing it was too late. Did I expect to be emotionally blackmailed? No. Luckily I grew up with a mother who is a pro at this, and as this did not involve my mother, it was a lot easier to simply deal, reflect and act once a decision was made.

Clarity – learning who your real friends are. They bugger the drama and move on, and that pushes me to move with them. It may sound like following the crowd, but perhaps that is what I need so that I wouldn’t look back. I’ve harped on many, many things, and while there are a couple of things I have still not let go of, others I can say for sure, I am at peace with.

My goals for 2010 are simple. I’m not interested in Drama Minggu Ini or The Bold and the Beautiful. I just want to find my center again. Whatever happens, whether it be work, family, friends or life itself, I want to learn to accept what is now and not worry about what could/might happen. Because that would give rise to hope, and hope in a dire situation helps no one. I have accepted some situations and that they will not change, I will just try to carry on living my life and trying to be happy.

Prolonged Silences

Posted on December 29, 2009 at 7:31 pm in

Life has been… difficult. A mess.

I type out a post on Word, other thoughts overwhelm me, and I discard my post.

2009 was the worst year ever. I look forward with fervent hope that 2010 could only get better.

If only I could forget it all. Undo it all. Life should have a CTRL+Z command.

The Script – Tour 2009

Posted on September 24, 2009 at 10:30 pm in

So this is how the whole gig with The Script went down. Weeks before they were due to play, I sent L an email:

“Hey, wanna go see The Script?”
“I don’t know who they are, so no thanks.”

A couple of weeks after, L heard a song on the radio that she always liked but had never knew who the band was. It turned out to be Breakeven. She sends a message saying she really wants to go see them. Not gonna lie, I swore. Loudly. She becomes more fangirly than me which is hilarious. This means a lot less work on my side in terms of buying tickets, organizing the night out, etc. :D

The whole thing is like lulzy on one side but epic fail on the other.

We met in Chinatown for dinner, which was near the gig venue. L bought a bottle of wine to share over our greasy dinner. On our separate journeys to Chinatown, we both noticed a line forming outside the venue. Personally I thought it was a bit sad, but then again I’m easily pleased as long as I get to hear the band.

After dinner, we made our way to the venue, putting up with ID checks (are you guys SERIOUS?!) and a chilly wind. When we got in, we found a place right up the front towards the side, where there was a little door that said ‘Authorised Personnel Only’ and guarded by a bouncer.

Prior to the gig L and I discussed the fact that the Sydney gig sold out, and that was the only one open to all ages. This raised my concern to the type of crowd The Script attracted. I suspected they probably attracted emos and I was partly right, judging by the amount of black eyeliner, dyed black hair and oversized black sweaters present. L, in her vodka-induced state, proclaimed it attracted fatties. Er. No comment. I value my life, thanks.

At one point, while the opening act was playing, L and I caught Danny O’Donoghue peeking out from the ‘Authorised Personnel Only’ door. On two separate occassions. He grinned and waved like he couldn’t believe there was a huge crowd waiting for the band to come on. L was all fangirly. I had to maintain composure for er, review purposes. Yeah.

The crowd went berserk when The Script finally came out. They’ve only got one album out so they pretty much worked through about half of it. Not that I’m complaining – it’s an excellent album with some really catchy tunes. What initially caught my attention was how some of their verses almost came out as rapping. Mixed with rock music it was a fresh, different sound. Their best song live? Probably The Man Who Can’t Be Moved. I was a bit disappointed with the one ballad they did, I’m Yours, but I guess it comes down to personal preference. They got the crowd on a real high three-quarters through the set, only to slow it down. Might have been just me, but I found that a little bit awkward.

They closed the set with a cover of Heroes, which, I have to say, was so freaking awesome. Better than The Wallflowers’ cover.

Any band that panders to my delirium gets a big A++++ in my book. “Anyone from Ireland tonight?!” HEE.

Verdict – they are an awesome band live. They look like they are genuinely enjoying themselves and still cannot believe people are there to see them, and that people know the lyrics to their songs. That kind of overwhelming innocence is so rare these days. This makes them so much more awesome than Bloc Party. Or Kings of Leon. They are all so sweet and down-to-earth, and soooo dorky. <3

Sleeping in the next day was heaven. I’m glad I took the day off, not just to recover from the gig, but I think I needed a little time to myself regardless.

EPL 09/10 Man Utd 4 – 3 Man City

Posted on September 20, 2009 at 11:16 pm in

When Michael Owen joined Manchester United, I set down some rules on what ’success’ at Manchester United for Owen would be. This includes scoring at least 20 goals, and any goals scored by Owen against a team that, at the moment of the game, is at the bottom three of the EPL table, would not count.

Yes, I am being very unfair. But, could you blame this fan considering Owen’s history? Jules argued, “If that’s how it is, any goals scored by Owen against a team that is at the top three, should count as two.” I shouted that argument down right quick, saying it’s not a true reflection of what Owen can do.

Then the bastard proceeds to save Man Utd’s sorry defending arse against Man City.

This wasn’t just a derby. This is a team that looks like it has joined the ranks of Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea. With the oil money pouring in, they could waste no time in getting the talent they need to campaign for a successful EPL 09/10 season. Sir Gaffer didn’t believe Tevez was worth the money asked, so he moved right next door. United fans have always favoured Tevez, but opening his mouth against Sir Gaffer after the transfer did not help matters. Did he deserve to get booed every time he touched the ball? Perhaps, but the magnitude of his little vendetta against United quite possibly could not match that of another new City signing, Adebayor, who, last weekend, ran down the sidelines to celebrate his City goal in front of the fans of his previous team, Arsenal. He subsequently delivered a boot to Robin Van Persie’s face, and gets himself banned for a month.

Which makes Tevez’s bad foul in this game look like almost nothing. Having said that, I’m sorry it has come to this between Tevez and United. There was absolutely no animosity when Peter Schmeichel moved to City during his second spell in the Premier League. To this day fans still regard him fondly, and Schmeichel will always be my number one hero between the goalposts, and my number one Manchester United hero of all time.

Back to Owen, who, in his second (or third?) starting game as a substitute, apparently is trying so very hard to derail on my hilariously awesome idea of ’success’. The fact that he subbed Berbatov, whom I am still going to be abusing for a long time to come, did not help matters. Subbing a player I dislike for a player I dislike and have no faith in? Capital, Sir Gaffer. I spent the last five minutes of the game screaming myself hoarse. And when Owen scored the goal in extra time to save United, OH MY GOD.

United still need some serious fixing to the back four. Foster’s mistake that led to City’s equalizer was such a howler. And Bellamy’s goal that made it 3-3 in the 89th minute, that was a horrible mistake by the likes and experience of Rio Ferdinand, arguably England’s finest defender.

That is probably what United need to focus on, regardless of Owen’s heartstopping heroics against our backyard rivals.

EPL 09/10 Wigan 0 – 5 Manchester United

Posted on August 23, 2009 at 12:34 am in

Up – Rooney’s first strike against Wigan becomes his 100th goal for Manchester United.

Down – after the crisis at Burnley (yes, it was a crisis) this was definitely a significant improvement, considering Wigan gave us a run for our money. At times Jordi Gomez’s profile looked almost like a former Manchester United striker. Oh Ruud, I miss you so. That lazy bastard Berbatov does not hold a candle to you. (Oh hey, Tevez left, I GET TO ABUSE BERBATOV BWAHAHAHA!)

UNCLEAN – Michael Owen’s first goal for Manchester United. UNCLEAAAAAAAN. (The previously hilarious, now horrifying, brochure that brought Owen to United. Someone must have spiked Sir Gaffer’s morning coffee that day. I mean seriously, look at Page 12!)

Lulz – Nani’s goal because he always celebrates with a series of somersaults that totes makes Sir Gaffer burst an artery. HEE. <3

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